renungkan...

Pemuda : Anda siapa dan apakah bisa menjawab pertanyaan- pertanyaan saya?
Kiyai : Saya hamba Allah dan dengan izin-Nya saya akan menjawab pertanyaan anda.
Pemuda : Anda yakin? Sedangkan profesor dan ramai orang yang pintar tidak mampu menjawab pertanyaan saya.
Kiyai : Saya akan mencuba sejauh kemampuan saya.
Pemuda : Saya ada 3 pertanyaan:
1. Kalau memang tuhan itu ada, tunjukkan wujud tuhan kepada saya
2. Apakah yang dinamakan takdir
3. Kalau syaitan diciptakan dari api, kenapa dimasukkan mereka ke neraka yang dibuat dari api; tentu tidak menyakitkan buat syaitan. Sebab mereka memiliki unsur yang sama. Apaka h tuhan tak berfikir sejauh itu?

Tiba-tiba kiyai tersebut menampar pipi pemuda tadi dengan keras.

Pemuda : ( sambil menahan sakit ) Kenapa anda marah kepada saya?
Kiyai : Saya tidak marah, tamparan itu adalah jawapan kepada 3 pertanyaan yang anda tujukan pada saya.
Pemuda : Saya sungguh-sungguh tidak mengerti.
Kiyai : Bagaimana rasanya tamparan saya?
Pemuda : Tentu saja saya merasakan sakit.
Kiyai : Jadi anda percaya bahawa sakit itu ada?
Pemuda : Ya!
Kiyai : Tunjukkan pada saya wujud sakit itu!
Pemuda : Saya tidak boleh.
Kiyai : Itulah jawapan pertanyaan pertama..., kita merasakan kewujudan Tuhan tanpa mampu melihat wujudnya.
Pemuda : ...
Kiyai : Apakah malam tadi anda bermimpi anda akan menerima tamparan dari saya hari ini?
Pemuda : Tidak.
Kiyai : Apakah pernah terfikir oleh anda akan menerima tamparan dari saya hari ini?
Pemuda : Tidak.
Kiyai : Itulah yang dinamakan takdir.
Pemuda : ...
Kiyai : Terbuat dari apa tangan yang saya gunakan untuk menampar anda?
Pemuda : Kulit.
Kiyai : Terbuat dari apa pipi anda?
Pemuda : Kulit.
Kiyai : Bagaimana rasanya tamparan saya?
Pemuda : Sakit.
Kiyai : Walaupun syaitan dijadikan daripada api, dan neraka juga diperbuat dari api; Jika tuhan menghendaki maka neraka akan menjadi tempat yang menyakitkan untuk syaitan.

on what you've gained

Everything you have, you have worked hard for. i suppose it is no harm to be proud of your accomplishments... jangan ego sudah. kita selalu tertanya tanya, kenapa perlu sesuatu pencapaian itu diiktiraf, perlu kah? ... atau semua itu hanya untuk menyedapkan hati semata-mata. atau kerana didalam diri setiap kita ini ada satu benda atau satu rasa yang sudah ditetapkan supaya setiap insan ini perlu ada rasa untuk dihargai...

but then again, You've worked hard for everything you have. So be proud of your accomplishments ... despite how they may compare to other people's. Everyone is on their own journey through life, and comparing yourself to others doesn't create healthy energy. should you be somehow, challenged to keep a harmonious balance between being generous and conserving your gains, it's wiser for you to err on the side of keeping what you have. i know my journey is still so very far... tak nampak pun penamatnya lagi... and i hope i won't stop at any rest&relax without any good reason before i reach there...

Merdeka!!!

Merdeka! Merdeka! Merdeka!

Apa itu merdeka? Party all night? Jumping at concert all night? Rempit all night? Or perhaps tengok bunga api all night?

Me... It's time for self reflection, rest and remembering those who left us with Merdeka. Be it for the country, for our mind or even our soul.

But still, dah merdeka kah kita ni?

about cahaya...

Is it such a sin to love and be love by you? Even when every single veins in my heart forcing me through it's complicated, intricate paths? but then again, do i... can i... just let go... be defeated?
Yes i know love is blind... so blind that love can be sad and happy at the same time. that's why i am trapped in the darkness of love that my biggest regret was to just simply let it go...
this path to love blinded my heart... so blind that i can't even imagine what's ahead... but not wanting to be defeated... not wanting to be left behind in all the darkness... i found my senses... my own path.

and i am back again at the beginning... let go... let's go... perhaps new light awaits me? perhaps...

losing someone

sometime things like this struck you unexpectedly. You thought everything was well for everyone but then accident happen in split second without you noticing it.

You cry, you mourn, you are sad for your lost but if you are that sad how about those who are closer to them even more than you? Their wife? Their husband? Their kid? It must be worst than you can already feel. What can you do? Just be there for them... miss you heaps.

why ask? why question exist? why? why? why?

Sometimes it makes you wonder why such a thing as questions exist? why do people ask questions that's clearly has answers to it? why do people ask when they clearly knew it's there right under their nose? why we ask if it exist when we had it, tasted it, felt it perhaps still feeling it...

why? why? why?

why ask? why denies things that's so clearly there or perhaps WAS there, perhaps I should say the answer to this is simply because we are all simply just lonely... i know i am... that's why i ask...

enough said.. don't understand what I'm talking about... nevermind... pretend you understand