Before i begin , Alfatihah
Every time when people ask me who I resemble most, I have always said I look more like my mum, her nose, her face moles are located almost identical with mine but hers are on the right side and mine was on the left side.
For the longest time I always say that I look like my mom and that my brother Yusmin (Amin) looks more like Abah … True to a certain degree… The way Amin stands and walk is almost abah’s duplicate! And the fact that Amin love ‘Kerja tukang’ and repairing motorbikes are exactly my dad’s hobby.
I am more of the artistic type! I love songs and singing and URTV and poems and novels which are exactly like mother’s hobby…
Plus the fact that I feared my dad more as he was a very strict dad. Rotan, belt and rubber hose are like gloves to Abah… I always turn to mak for anything…
When I decided to leave Kuala Lipis for Kuala lumpur after SPM in 1992, Abah was my main deciding factor in doing so… I always thought that I was never his favorite… Amin was… So I was never that close to Abah… He was such a HARD person…
But when Mak fell sick of renal complications early 1997 and eventually passed away in 1998, during one of the tahlil for my mum, I saw abah as this lonely, frail and SOFT man…
When he decided to marry again, with the help of my new UMI, I started to understand Abah… When he also started to show illness and renal related complications, I slowly make myself closer to Abah… When he lost his eyesight in 2002, I became closer and closer to him. The only problem was that I was living in Penang and back then, traveling back home was a challenge for me…
When Abah passed away, only then I realized how much I missed him and how much I regretted not wanting to understand him more before …
When I got hold of some of Abah’s photo to scan only the. I got comments that I resemble Abah more that mak… Just last month I was approached on Facebook by abah’s long lost friend asking me if I am Che Yusoff Muda’s son simply because he said my eyes reminded him of abah… When my wife saw Abah and mak’s vintage wedding photos she commented I look so much like Abah, only then I slowly dug out abah’s old photos… Not yet accepting it fully but slowly recognizing it…
Tonight as my wife who is away in JB asked how was I doing, I send her this photo of myself as I usually do to cheer her up….
When I saw this photo of mine, I suddenly cried because I saw my father in me … The eye, the lips, the beard, the stare, the hair and the messy unbutton white polo shirt and messy collar… I saw Abah
Btw, that’s me at the age of 15 smiling widely behind my Abah taken during hari raya. A rare photo, to see me that cheerful when Abah is around as I am always fearful of him…
Allahhuakbar… I miss Abah and mak so much tonight…
As tears falling down, I decided to write this and I started it with Bismillah and Al-Fatihah and now as I almost reaching the end I this note, I hope you, my friends who is reading this, please give Al-Fatihah to my Abah and Mak and the ones we love …
Thank You
Abah dan Mak, along rindu sangat…
Al-Fatihah…
Assalamuaikum …
(Taken with Instagram at Bandar Sri Damansara)
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