Thursday, August 31, 2006


Merdeka! Merdeka! Merdeka!

Apa itu merdeka? Party all night? Jumping at concert all night? Rempit all night? Or perhaps tengok bunga api all night?

Me... It's time for self reflection, rest and remembering those who left us with Merdeka. Be it for the country, for our mind or even our soul.

But still, dah merdeka kah kita ni?

about cahaya...

Is it such a sin to love and be love by you? Even when every single veins in my heart forcing me through it's complicated, intricate paths? but then again, do i... can i... just let go... be defeated?
Yes i know love is blind... so blind that love can be sad and happy at the same time. that's why i am trapped in the darkness of love that my biggest regret was to just simply let it go...
this path to love blinded my heart... so blind that i can't even imagine what's ahead... but not wanting to be defeated... not wanting to be left behind in all the darkness... i found my senses... my own path.

and i am back again at the beginning... let go... let's go... perhaps new light awaits me? perhaps...

losing someone

sometime things like this struck you unexpectedly. You thought everything was well for everyone but then accident happen in split second without you noticing it.

You cry, you mourn, you are sad for your lost but if you are that sad how about those who are closer to them even more than you? Their wife? Their husband? Their kid? It must be worst than you can already feel. What can you do? Just be there for them... miss you heaps.

why ask? why question exist? why? why? why?

Sometimes it makes you wonder why such a thing as questions exist? why do people ask questions that's clearly has answers to it? why do people ask when they clearly knew it's there right under their nose? why we ask if it exist when we had it, tasted it, felt it perhaps still feeling it...

why? why? why?

why ask? why denies things that's so clearly there or perhaps WAS there, perhaps I should say the answer to this is simply because we are all simply just lonely... i know i am... that's why i ask...

enough said.. don't understand what I'm talking about... nevermind... pretend you understand

sharing pants...

imagine... two people trying to squeeze into the same pair of pants simultaneously... looks pretty funny and a little hazardous, like you might fall over. 'You're not the boss of me' is the prevailing sentiment, and both of you secretly want to be calling the shots.

what can we do in this situation? Try to find some neutral ground. 'cooperation' is the word...And keep your senses of humor, that's what I'll do... if you do keep struggling and end up collapsing, hopefully it'll be in a giggling heap. I did it and it's true of what they say... laughter is always the best medicine... no matter how hard you fought. try and laugh, you'll feel better. i know i did. how's your day by the way. just hope i can laugh with the one i want... quizas... je manque mon ciel... but then again...

color equal mood...

dear friend of mine forwarded an URL to me recently. colors apparently represent your mood of the day.. and i took the test again today and was surprise off the outcome... it is perfectly TRUE!

why not take the test yourself and see for yourself here
if you want to know what mine said... here it is ...

Enough is enough - you feel frustrated and rejected. You are fighting back and the going is tough.

Of late, everything seems to be going so slowly - far slower than you anticipated - and this is causing you much anxiety and frustration. It would appear that there is little you can do about the series of events that now seem to be taking place. In spite of the fact that you feel like 'giving up' - don't. Take a deep breath and start over again and you will find that eventually the expression 'All's well that ends well' will have an extra special meaning for you.
You feel that you deserve far more than is being attributed to you, but there is no-one to whom you can turn to for sympathy and understanding. Your pent-up emotions and inherent egocentricity make you quick to take offence, but as matters stand you realize that you will have to make the best of things as they are.

As of late, you have been experiencing untold stress and this is a result of continuous frustration. You haven't been taking care of all your physical needs and it's beginning to show. It would seem that you have a need to find someone to whom you can really relate - someone perhaps whose standards are as high as your own. You want to be different - to be individualistic - to stand out from the common herd. Your inherent control of your sensual instincts is restricting your ability to give yourself to open up freely but this being on your own, being lonely, often makes you feel the need to give up some of your strict standards to surrender to the general flow - to be like everyone else; a part of the herd. Deep down you regard such instincts as weaknesses to be overcome. You would like to be loved or admired for yourself alone. You demand recognition and tender loving care.

There is that inherent fear that you may be prevented from attaining the better things in life - those things that you consider essential to your well-being. So you are prepared to try everything to prove to yourself that whatever you do or try will go wrong. This destructive attitude could come under the heading of 'a self fulfilling prophecy'. This belittling yourself is your method of disguising how hopeless and what a waste of time you feel that everything is. So now turn it about. As you 'think', so you are... So 'imagine' yourself successful. 'Pretend', 'act it out' and you may be pleasantly surprised at the outcome.


lately, my mind is so full of ideas. i started writing again after so long! my novel is far from finish but i am so excited with what's coming out of me now... and yesterday i was humming to 3 new tunes! a ballad, an angry uptempo number and believe it or not an asli song! only thing is if only i have the proper channel to put this songs to...

and then...

Think of yourself as a cosmic power strip -- except it's not appliances that want to plug into you, it's people. You're the conduit for all different types of people and connections right now, and you should take advantage of this lively energy to its fullest extent. Turn nothing down, be open to everything and converse everyone who crosses your path. You never know when that casual word will become a life-changing conversation.

the F word

yaaa... the 2 "F" words. Like it or not, you'll definitely have both : Friends and Foes. But foes can be friends too... sometimes

Friendly Foes
they are everywhere but only a matter if we recognize them or we acknowledge their existence within us. the force is strong this one has. they can be so nice, friendly and at the same time they took advantages on us. some of us even trusted them. for all you know those 6 months rent that you pay didn't go directly to the landlord but to the foe you know. what did you get in the end? a fight at the guardhouse with sepak, tampar, terajang with police patrol car suddenly appeared... how did it end? dunno. don't care. but all things must have some good things behind it all... because while the fights was watch by all, a Friend manage to get to know someone who happens to be there watching... romance coming... who knows

Friendly Friends
this friend in question, (hello... dah call ke belum) happens to be the nicest around. when trouble came upon me... offered his help he did, drove me to get my car fixed, sent me back to pick my car later without me asking for help. even came down to help me cover my car with plastic for temporary measure and suddenly met my new closest friend who happens to be with me the whole night helping... (padan katanya... apa tu?)

closest friend
so this new closest friend i have... tired from work came to the rescue... took me to police beat to report, took me to police HQ to further my report (unnecessary but that's how the system goes) although tired this friend is, although somewhere else this new friend had to be at... no complaints, no grouch, just pure sincerity.
foes, friendly foes, friendly friends, closest friends, friends... have them with me, love them all... how was your day today? mine was great.

mata dan bibir...

bahaya... itu dia, mata dan bibir adalah dua benda yang sangat merbahaya tetapi mengasyikkan. nevertheless, those two were the reason i had the greatest weekend ever. how's your weekend? hehe

nak kemana?

EH EH... kemana dia nak pergi tu? tak tahu la pulak... kata dari shah alam nak ke ampang tapi bila dah sampai, teringat pula damansara perdana... entah kenapa kerana dah janji... mungkin pantai hillpark juga akhir nya... esok? tak siapa tahu... mungkin KLCC pula...
WAH serata KL berjalan nampaknya...


the most beautiful words...

je t'aime parce que vous êtes beau, ou êtes-vous beau parce que je t'aime ?
Est-ce que je faisant crois je que voient dans vous une fille suis trop beau à être vraiment vraie ?
Est-ce que je vous veux parce que vous êtes merveilleux, ou suis vous merveilleux parce que je vous veux ?
Êtes-vous l'invention douce du rêve d'un amoureux ou êtes-vous vraiment aussi beau que vous semblez ?

in english for those who don't read french

Do I love you because you're beautiful, or are you beautiful because I love you?
Am I making believe I see in you a girl too lovely to be really true?
Do I want you because you're wonderful, or are you wonderful because I want you?
Are you the sweet invention of a lover's dream or are you really as beautiful as you seem?
from the broadway musical cinderella
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