about coming out...

Oh hohoho not about coming out from the closet but coming out from own self comfort zone.

Started my morning a bit late than usual because I couldn't sleep till 3 last night searching for my bank book.

today, aku kenakan si Heliza, the problem with her, is that she's to controlled. in the class she's very reserved. simpan. unlike the Heliza you see on stage last week. balik to Akademi, dia balik to her old quiet self. so this morning I asked her to lead the warm up class. surprise! dia buka technique Taekwan-do ! it was fun. that's the girl that was on stage last Saturday.

I cancelled my meeting with Ramona Rahman (new tv project) because I need to get my ATM and passbook replaced only to arrived at MaybanK disappointed with how the case is handled. SLOW! still waiting feedback from them. dalam wallet ada rm 300 saja. i need my ATM arghhh!

on another note, SiPenang hari mood tak elok. terlampau busy hmm... tengah cari idea nak sejukkan hati dia...

about being busy part III...

got this reply in my inbox from one of my dearest friend...

It's a trying situation, i'm sure. Been there, too. But i'm sure what it means is that sipenang misses you. otherwise, mesti tak kesah lah. it's all about time. not enough time spent there, not enough time for you to do more things, at the same time, soon these months will pass and you'll be free again..and bored...and things will go back to more regular routines. Till then, nothing but frustration.

But isn't it unfair how when we are busy, doing what we love, it becomes an issue, when other times we tolerate our partner being busy without complain? We accept that it's part and parcel of what they do and love. We're always making and giving the time so they've come to expect that. So when we're busy, suddenly it's unacceptable.....

thank you dear... kita ni lebih kurang sama lah ye...

about being busy ... part II

Auh! Fening fening fening! Pening kepala dibuatnya, asal aku busy je mesti ada hal yang tak betul, every single time I'm busy with long project surely mesti gaduh dengan SiPenang ...

Habis tu nak buat macam mana?

"Honestly you are really no help to me for the past few years" begitulah sms dari SiPenang... Pedas tak kenyataan tu? Memang salah aku terjun dalam bidang ini but for the 1st time in my whole 31 years of existence I am actually happy with my work- sure it doesn't pay much but at least I know I'm good at it and actually enjoying it.

Aku macam malas nak gaduh dah sebab ini bukan kali pertama. Dulu masa aku buat My Bollywood Summer the musical dengan Nurul pun macam tu. Masa Puteri Gunung Ledang the musical pun macam tu, Sekarang ni bila aku sibuk dengan Urmi aka tempest dan Akademi fantasia, problem sama timbul lagi... projek projek panjang sebegini selalunya memerlukan aku berada di Kuala Lumpur paling kurang 3 bulan. Jadi memang langsung tak dapat balik penang. Oleh kerana tak dapat balik SiPenang jadi marah. Memang sepanjang 10 tahun aku di penang aku lah yang jaga segala urusan duit, peribadi dan pelbagai SiPenang, Aku jadi bingung tak tau nak buat camna lagi dah.

Should I drop everything and balik penang ? And go back to 9to5 job yang lama?

Kebelakangan ini aku tak happy sangat dengan Tempest aka URMI sebab aku tak dapat cari good chemistry dengan my fellow actor but because I'm commicted to my work , aku redah je sessi rehearsal although berat hati nak pergi rehearsal tapi setiap kali habis rehearsal aku happy sebab aku puas hati bekerja. Pergi mampus la perasaan bengkek tu asal aku puas bekerja. SiPenang memang tau problem aku sebab aku tak ada rahsia dengan dia. Tapi patut ke dia cakap ...

"Maybe you should learn to do something else You are not happy and the money is lousy"

aku tak happy dengan 1 orang saja kat tempest tapi i am bloody proud to be part of it and... What did SiPenang means by something else? Aku dah tua la... susah nak start benda baru

Dalam aku dok menulis ni; masuk sms dari Penang : "Sorry to hurt your feelings..."

Tapi memang salah aku sebab tinggalkan penang. the truth is, it's me who hurts dia punya fellings... Tapi bila aku tak busy, sudah semestinya Penang juga lah tempat aku. I love u DA.